A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? He was shot.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was a woman.

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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Asians...

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does your face hurt? yeah, neither does mine.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Expensive cheese.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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2 loaves of bread were in a bar they did nothing as they are inanimate objects

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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