Screw it you write the joke.

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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What did the Wind say to the Window? (Insert Racist punchline here)

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder was walking down the street. another man asked, "where did you get him?" The parrot said, "theres tons of them in africa."

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Q; How does a priest perform an exorcism? A: He doesn't.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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Why did the girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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Two men walk into a bar, get drunk, and drive home. Unfortunately, they crash into a tree and are mortally wounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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