How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

Why did Harriet Tubman have to take the underground railroad? Because she was a fugly slut.

What's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple? The Color Wheel.

What did the man say before he killed himself? I am going to kill myself

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

Why shouldn't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because you would get charged with vehicular manslaughter and have the NAACP all up in your ass.

Knock knock Fuck off!

How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

lil billy wuz killed cuz of hiz relijuz beliefz

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

What is better than a Beer? Two Beers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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