Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -17

My girlfriend gave me her first ever blowjob last night. I came in her mouth and she washed it down with a can of Carling. Obviously she had to get that horrible taste out of her mouth, so she gave me another blowjob.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The Labour Party.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Three penguins sitting in a tub. The first penguin says to the third penguin, "Hey would you pass the soap?" The penguin in the middle says, "What do you think I am a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops