why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

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a girl got a friend request from a unknown guy. she chated him asking who he was. he replied vamos a tener sexo caliente y vas a pedir mas rapido mas duro! vamos ser estrellos porno. the girl deleted him as a friend B.A.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he has no sense of living and no muscles to move.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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Knock Knock Who's there? John John who? John Williams.

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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when placing the bolt in the side of the metal rememb............ shit wrong book ........................................................................

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops