This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

\ \ \\ \\ >\/ 7 _.-(6' \ (=__._/` \ ) \ | / / | / > / j < _\ _.-' : ``. \ r=._\ `. \ > ,.-' >.'

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl! I'm sorry,that was just really rude of me. I've been talking to my therapist and I think this insolent behavior came from my dad. I always wanted his approval but he always liked my brother more and blah blah yak yak.....

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops