A man walks in to a bar and orders a drink. He has been drinking alone every day since his wife an unborn child died in an horrific car accident.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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BIG MAC'S

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Whats funnier then two babies falling off a cliff? 2 babies falling off a cliff

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

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Why did the pig cross the yard? Because the helicopter was chasing him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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