Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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your momma is so poor that she is on welfare.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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