Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

What did the flag say to the pole? It dosnt

Why did it take so long to find Osama Bin Laden? No idea. Bad military tactics. Was he found?

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

how did the bus fall outa the tree it got hit by a hellicopter how did the boy fall outa the tree he was attached to the bus how did the chicken fall outa the tree it fell off the branch

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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