Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobia strip? To get to the same side!

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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Why couldn't the blonde have children? She had pelvic inflammatory disease.

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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BIG PENIS

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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