Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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Why are leprechauns so happy? The grass tickles their balls

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

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Hello

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Why did the dinosaurs go extinct? I don't know.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Q: What is usually black , is a rectangle and has two circles? A: An i pod touch 4

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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What do you call a white man sitting between two black men on a bus? A group of three people having a friendly conversation about the upcoming football season.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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