So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair? She had dementia.

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Q: What is the answer to 255 x 23? A: A number!

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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