knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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France never surrender.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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wat?

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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ASSCHEEKS

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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what rhymes with sloth? rape

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a lightbulb 2, 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell like urine.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around? A kitten in a blender

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out that your mother just got raped by ten black men and then coming home to her dead body and getting raped by the same men who raped your mom.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Ben is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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