What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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So a seal walks into a club...

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Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

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What's funny? Women's rights.

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Potato salad

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops