Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

Is Yered a dumbass? YA

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

Women's Rights

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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