When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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What did the cow say to the other cow? "Baaa", he had an identity crisis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Continents are large islands.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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how do you make holy water? you burn the hell out of it

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There was an apartment. At the bottom level lived a white family, The 2nd level, there was a mexican family, and the 3rd level, there was a Black family. Someone blew up the apartment with a bomb, WHO SURVIVED? The white family, because the parent were at work and the kids were at school.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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whats the difference between a black guy and a park bench? well a park bench is an inanimate object that people use to sit on and feed the birds at the park. and a black guy is a living being who is looked down upon in society.

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Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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