how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

an ethopian thanksgiving

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Alchohol.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did michael say to sam? (pedo face) YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops