My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you trick the devil? You give him a ginger.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Llamaworm

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What do you call 1000 black men walking down a street? The million man march

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

-Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? -No. -Well niether has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops