Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Connor is homo

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Poker face

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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What do a squirrel and a cigarette have in common? -They are both perfectly harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Kobe Bryant passing the ball

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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That would mean that you are not its leader, or that you are, the result would have been the same, if you are the "head honcho" they would have gone for you, and your employees. Now, if you are an employee, they would have gone for your leader, and of course you. So between us and nobody else really its fucking antijoke, are you the leader?

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

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You are in a room with no doors and no windows. All you have a chainsaw and a mirror. How do you get out? You don't and will slowly die a painful death of asphyxiation.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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