Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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How do you kill Osama Bin Laden? Get The Navy Seals To Infiltrate his compound.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I don't know, i was wondering if you knew.

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How can you tell if a duck is quaking? Hear it

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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3 guys were caught trespassing in a field and were sent to jail. The cop asked the first guy, "What were you doing in the field? He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop asked the second guy, "What were you doing in the field?" He replied, "I was blowing bubbles" The cop then asked the third guy, "Lemme guess, you were blowing bubbles too? The guy replied, "No silly, I am Bubbles!"

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What do you call a black man who likes watermelon and fried chicken? Someone who likes good food.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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