Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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A blonde was very smart, and nobody made fun of her when she sometimes made small mistakes like every other person regardless of hair color.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

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Q: Have you ever seen Ray Charles wife? A: Nethier has he.

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a man was beating his wife his wife asks him to stop he says no and continues beating her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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