Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The unfortunate child in a pedophile's basement who the police have yet to find.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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wormly wormly sat on the worm theworm said wormly and went to warmly

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears? Because he's a rabbit

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A White, Black, Hispanic, and an Asian man are stranded on a deserted island. They become best friends, proving race should not be a divisive factor in any community.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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