Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Sex

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why the chicken cross the road? because he just committed 3rd degree murder and was try'in to commit suicide

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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Q: What's black and blue and is all over Timmy's mother? A: The bruises his father gave her when he came home drunk.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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What happens when you get caught inside a tornado? You don't, the debris around you will most certainly kill you before you get close to the tornado.

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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A blind man walks into a bar After realising he might be hurt everybody rushes to his aid

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What is orange, has 7 legs, and makes the same noise as a crow? If you can think of something that fits all of those characteristics, you need help

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops