In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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Q; What is green and eats rocks? A; The green rock eater... Q;What happens when you through a rock straight up in the north pole? A; The green rock eater eats it..

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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roses are red vilits are blue get in the van or i kill you

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it? A coconut.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it got hit by a bus.

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So three men walk into a bar and buy a round of drinks for everyone. As they do this, three kenyans die of dehydration while their families weep at their feet.

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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