Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

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wanna hear a joke? no

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did Billy fall off the Empire State building? He didn't fall, he jumped. He decided to commit suicide due to his lack of friends, caring parents, low self-esteem, and self-concious issues. Billy really needed a therapist.

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Popsicles

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Knock knock "Steve I have a door bell."

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. The snake ate the mouse.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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There once was a man from Peru Who fell asleep in a canoe He got a slight case of sunburn which improved later after applying some ointment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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