You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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There is an Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman and they are climbing up a mountain, when they reach the top and decide to climb down again.

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A man walks into a room with a sly grin on his face, "Tom, have I got a joke to tell YOU!" Tom hurriedly shoos Susie into her bedroom and tells her to lock the door and not open it no matter what. Tom turns to the man, "I've told you twice before to never come back here, I'm beginning to think that you probably don't take what I say very seriously because you might have some sort of chemical imbalance or something in your head, or maybe you're obsessed with my family or something!" The man hangs his head in shame and agrees with Tom, but Tom still had to do something about the intruder so he called the cops. The cops took him to get psychologically analyzed, but Tom didn't know this because he only cared that his daughter Susie was safe and he also doesn't have access to the testing facility's records. Tom is an only father.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you get blood from a stone? Put it in a snowball.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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A father of 4 commits suicide. his kids celebrate shortly after.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Goat balls.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? ........Because he was severely scared when he witnessed a stray dog bleeding out

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a mexican is walking through the desert with no food or water, and no clothes. he'll probably die soon.

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Zach Murfitt has a small Willy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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