How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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so a blind man walks into a bar, then a chair, then a table.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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how do you win a game try your best

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why did the little girl fell off the bed? because she saw his father rape her sister after killing his mother years ago, and every time she goes to sleep, she remembers that and the images come back to haunt her

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Ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

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The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Why doesn't Michael sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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