Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am fine, hungry but otherwise fine, I sometimes wish that things that come easy to you, did the same for me or others, excuse me, going to grab a bite, I hope we can chat here for a bit, it is not a chatting site the least. Say? Are you still burning mad at me? If not ill gladly give you a call, but if this is a ploy you are scheming in order to gain my trust I might be killing myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the bullet say to Bin-Laden? Suck it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the zebra cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

way do Japan bomb pearl harbor because America hat sex with China [watch Hetalia]

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops