I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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Poker face

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What do you call it when the Doctor goes back in time to meet himself? A pair o' Docs. What do you call it when Shaquille O'Neil goes back in time to meet himself? Shaquille O'Neil can't go back in time.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Q: Wy couldn't the T-rex grab the other Dinosor? A: Because he is extinct.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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Why did the rabbit cross the road? He was attempting vehicular suicide after being told yet again that he was "silly" and "Trix are for kids."

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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POOP.....People Order Our Patties

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a picnic is postponed due to rain, or hired entertainment becomes unavailable at the last minute due to illness, or a book ends badly having started out well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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