What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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A black student graduated High School

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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Q: If you're driving down the street in your canoe and the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to shingle your dog's garage? A: 27, because bananas have no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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roses are red violets are blue me n' friends guna rape you trolololoLOLOLOlololOLLOLOLOLOLLLOLOLOLOLO01010101010111 666

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A Mexican and an African American are in a car, who is driving? The Mexican, while the African American rides in the passenger seat.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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A brunette child with a blond mother is crying. Why? Because his father was just mauled by a Scandinavian dragon.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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