Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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What do you call a guy with an ax in his chest? An ambulance.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Why did your girlfriend dump you? because someone brainwashed this guy into believing this nonsense.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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An ant walks into a bar. Nobody Notices...

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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