A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Well thats a stupid question, just one.

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what do you call a mexican with a rubber blanket cold

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Hey Lady Gaga, Madonna called, she wants her clothes back; she lend them to you weeks ago for a concert because you didn't have anything to wear and you haven't returned them yet.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? Six million, according to Hitler.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops