Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

What has an extra toe and is a bad role model for little girls? Miley Cyrus.

A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

did the dog explode? because it didn't have a bum hole

how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

A man walks into a bar. He breaks his neck and his insurance provider hikes up his interest rate.

Who looks like Zach Efron? Shrek.

Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...