Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The sandwich asked the girl to make her a boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

JUSTIN BEING SMART

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's harder than nailing seven dead babies to a tree? My erection while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q - Want to hear a joke? A - Me Too.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

French people.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate poems Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's worse than a worm in your apple? The Haulocaust. Whats worse than the Haulocaust? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call it when a leopard starts losing its spots? leopard-osy! submitted by: pukey mcshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

black

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with a black head, a red body, white arms and yellow legs? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops