your moms so fat she has kankles

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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What's black and white and red all over? A bleeding penguin.

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Jews who wear penny loafers...

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

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What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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What did the dog say to its anus? Woof

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Q:Why did the rockstar put rollerskates on his rocking chair? A:Because he wanted people to see him rocking and rolling on it.:)

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call a dude dinosaur that's into other dude dinosaurs? A Bi-ceritops

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Why arnt black people alowed in bars? Because monkeys don't drink beer! DER DA DER.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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a blond goes to high school and gets terrible grades. she then goes online and realizes that it's because she's blond. so she shaves all her hair of and went back to high school and got terrible grades... I guess the lesson in this is once a blond, always a blond. she then got bit from a rabid butterfly and died in a hole

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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What did the egg say to the cup? I love your hairdo! Girl, who is your stylist?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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