Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get to the other side.

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I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

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Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

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Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Name three similarities between racism and sexism I, S and M

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Why isn't this joke funny? Because it has no point.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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knock knock come in

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Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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