- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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The cream, it is coming

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's purple, blue, red, orange, yellow and green. A rainbow .

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops