If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Yo momma so stupid, she failed the 2nd grade math

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Who took the cookie from the cookie jar? Your mom

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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Frontbut-

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops