A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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Why did the little boy didn't finish his dinner? He died.

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North Korea is red. Amerika is blue. But they both split blood. All over you

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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A tiger walks into bar. He orders a drink and leaves. The tiger's name was Tony the tiger," It was just a man wearing a costume for the cereal company.

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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