Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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What do apples and black men both have in common? They are both people except for the apple

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You decide, drink or drive. But don't do all 3 at the same time.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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what happens when a dog and a cat have sex? They create a beautiful baby that ends up dieing from cancer.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Wanna hear a joke? Zeke friends Wanna hear a better jokes? Zeke with his friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops