Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

thumb_up thumb_down

Who's worse: Ghandi or Hitler Answer: Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the coney say to the hotdog? At least i kill people.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

thumb_up thumb_down

5 Italian guys from Long Island

thumb_up thumb_down

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down

A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

thumb_up thumb_down

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

thumb_up thumb_down

If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you heard about the awesome farmer? He was outstanding in his field. -ymda

thumb_up thumb_down

So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

thumb_up thumb_down

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

thumb_up thumb_down

What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops