How did the man lose his arm? beacuse of the five year old with a knife obsesion standing right beind you at this minute...

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

Is maynaise an instrument?

How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? One second let me count them.

i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...