How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road A. Because he needed to get to the other side

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm bad at poetry, ELEPHANTS!

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Why a frog can fly? It has magic. Why a snake can fly? It ate the magic frog. Why a eagle can fly? It has wings.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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