Why did the boy miss the toilet when he was peeing? Cause he was in the shower.

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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What do you call a Muslim Extremest at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible tragedy for the Muslim community.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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