He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Why did the mailman say hi to you? He was trying to be friendly

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what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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A black man goes to his dentist appointment and the doctor asks, have you brushed your teeth today laderius? the black man replies: Yes, but my name is not laderius

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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What's black and white and red all over? A blood-soaked zebra

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Getting voted down to page 4067

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? I don't know... That action was so barbarous that it freaked me out, and I was no longer in the vicinity of the area. Since I don't have supersonic hearing, I couldn't pick up anything they were saying...

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A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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