What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? It doesn't matter. You can call him anything you like, but he won't come running to you.

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

I like your hair

Why did Tyrone try to sell Timmy some blow? Due to his poor educational background, lack of recommendations, and a terrible job market, Tyrone wasn't able to get a real job and had to resort to selling illegal narcotics. This wasn't something Tyrone wanted to do, because he promised himself he would never end up like his father, but this was the only way he could support his family.

GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

A man walks into a bar. The bar tender asks him "why the long face?" He replies "Because I'm a horse, you jackass".

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

Why couldn't the man get up to obtain a beverage? His legs were broken.

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

What happens to koala bears when the forests of Australia catch on fire? They burn.

your fat

apple pie.

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

45.

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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