French people.

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I like your hair

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what do you want to drink" the guy says "a blue moon"

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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Q: What did the man say to the sexy female nurse with long hair and big breasts? A: I have diarrhea.

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roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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Q: what happens to the black guy that walks into the bar. A: He walk in ,gets a drink, and leaves

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your fat

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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A moth walks into a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says, "Moth, what's the problem?" And the moth says, "What's the problem. Well, doc, where do I begin? Every day I get up to another cruel sky. It's like the sun is mocking me as I begin the gruelling preparations for another 8-hours of slogging in meaningless toil for my boss, Gregor McIvanichisky. A grey self, captive in a grey cubicle in a grey office with no windows that I might see the grey clouds beyond... I just sit in my cubicle as I feel the throbbing ache of the best days of my life being raped away into a monotonous, forgettable slurry of irrelevant corporate drudgery. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't think my boss even knows. All he knows is that he has power over me. And my children...my daughter is always on her cellphone, texting and emailing. I haven't spoken real words to her in weeks. My oldest son is never home and when he is, he's locked in his room listening to angry music. My youngest son, he's only 4, I look at him and he asks me to play... and I feel nothing. No love, no tenderness... just a void. And when I look in the mirror...I don't recognize the face staring back at me. It's aged so much from the boyish looks I remember. The years have carved deep lines of despair, worry and anguish. Dark, hollow eyes where once gleamed hope and excitement. Thin lips unable to find the smile of the happy, old days. If only I could find the courage to reach over to the side table and remove the loaded gun. And then find the strength to pull back that hammer as the chamber rotates, clicking solidly into place...Raising it to my temple for the final squeeze that will erase the last shreds of my existence from this cold grave of a life wasted away." And the podiatrist says, "Well, Moth, you're in pretty rough shape. You need to get some help. But why did you come to me? You need a psychiatrist!!" And the moth says... "Because the light was on."

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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