Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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joke hahhahahah where did u find that joke, on the internet

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Your momma is so ugly... Yeah, yeah, yeah my momma's ugly, but guess what, at least I'm not an orphan asshole.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A worm in your intestinal tract.

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What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops