Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Knock Knock Whose there? Ben Dover Come in

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Justin's life

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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Why did the Polish man cross the road? Because the doctors was across the road, and he had a doctor appointment in five minutes time.

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Jimmy: Knock Knock Nick: Whose there? Jimmy: Joe Nick: Joe Who? Jimmy: Joe Mamma Nick: No shes dead.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Thumbs up if u dont have aids:)

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Roses are red violets are red bushes are red oh shit my garden is on fire

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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