i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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*Click* "Hello you have reached a pre-recorded voice at the suicide hotline. We regret to inform you that our consultant has suffered a recent bout of depression due to the sheer volume of calls he has received." "His body was found this morning, hanging from a tree." [L]

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Who has lots of friends, but smells like urinate feceas? Smelly McD, I lied about the friends.

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What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

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Why did a car full of African-American men pull up to a lonely white man walking on the sidewalk at 12 p.m. in Harlem? To ask for directions.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Black people.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: He has a debilitating disease, it's called ALS.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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a man dropped a bar of soap in the shower. He immediately picked it up and finished washing himself. He then got dressed and left the gym.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops