Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Person #1: Hello captain obvious. Person #2: Hello.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What did Bambi say to her mother when her mother was killed? Nothing. Bambi's a deer. Duh.

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hey i jut met u, and i have alzeihmer, cheese and toast

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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What's the difference between you and a bucket full of shit? The bucket...

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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