Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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