how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What do you call a fat jew? A person that most likely has an eating problem and needs to seek help from the nearest rabbi

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Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

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what did the blue paint say to the red paint? i am blue

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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