Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -44

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Tell me fuck you Fuck you No fuck your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Whats worse than a man who has had a hard day at work, he goes to a bar and gets drunk, he goes home and beats his wife? I his wife was fat and had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your mom is so stupid... She was unable to go to college and therefore was not able to find a good job.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Wgat did the umpire say to the asian batter? Foul ricebowl!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

what is the difference between a dead baby in a bag and a dead baby hung in the yard....the dead baby hung in the yard was shot down off the cross after being rmr'd

thumb_up thumb_down -52

With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

whats black and hangs from my tree my neighbor

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops